The depressing times of loneliness after a breakup and how we can best deal with these times
The bed is empty. The silence in your home is overwhelming. Finding yourself alone after a breakup, maybe for the first time in years, can bring about deep feelings of loneliness.
You find yourself thinking negatively about your life. Days are spent questioning whether you will ever find someone you can trust, love and enjoy life with ever again. How do you break the cycle of depression and feeling sorry for yourself?
Am I Meant To Be Alone And Does Time Heal All Wounds?
As hard as it is to believe, this too shall pass. Dealing with a breakup involves going through stages as you cope with a very real and painful loss, and the grief you feel needs to be experienced and worked through to emerge whole on the other side.
Take comfort in knowing it will get better, and there will be a time when you feel alive and confident again. There are some steps you can take to help this process along.
Remember the song, ‘I’m Gonna Wash That Man Right Out Of My Hair’? Well, that is your first step. Don’t grab the shampoo, but remove all the traces of your ex from your living space.
Start with the things that trigger the biggest emotion. Maybe it’s an old sweatshirt you can’t help sleeping with. Ditch it, and you will be helping to ditch him from your life.
Alone No More Embrace Life
Your next step is to come out of your home and embrace people again. Join a support group for newly singles, take a class, volunteer, or visit an art gallery opening. Get out with people that you share a common interest with. Where doesn’t matter, just get used to being out and about again.
Does the house echo with silence? Make a playlist of some upbeat songs, not the blues, and play it when you feel the loneliness threatening to take over.
Music soothes the soul, and gets those good mood chemicals cooking in your brain. When you are home and feel those dark thoughts filling your mind, read something spiritual and positive or fill a journal with your thoughts.
Tell yourself that by writing them down, you are mentally throwing those bad thoughts away.
You Can Be Alone And Treat Yourself
Grab your BFF and head to the day spa and get a mani, pedi, massage, and even a new haircut. Change your outside to reflect that you are working hard to change your inside.
Consider joining a gym or taking an exercise class. Exercise works like good music, it gets those endorphins going again, and the effect lingers for hours. You will also feel good taking physical care of yourself.
If you try to do all these things but the depression is causing you to retreat from everyday life, it may be time to seek some professional help. A therapist’s job is to guide you through your issues and can be invaluable in helping you get your life back on track.
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